Oh wow. It's been a while, hasn't it? Well, I'm not dead and I guess I'm always to lazy to type stuff on Xanga or my bouts of emotional stress or whatnot doesn't occur when I want to type on Xanga.

I look back at my old, older blogs and they seem so dark and depressing. Haha...

Life's fine, I suppose. School's alright, I guess.

But it is rather depressing when someone [coughkyracough] takes me for "granted." I don't like being taken for granted. I want to be there for everybody when they need me. I like being relied on... And I curse myself for my stupid softness. Lost like 2 pens this year because I lent people them. Gahhhh... To strangers, nonetheless. D:

And I don't like being pushed around. But I guess sometimes, it's too easy to push me around... Sighhh. But I'm learning. I'm gonna get braver and stuff so I can stand up for myself and my awesome friends. Those fools that they are. ♥

And I also want to term someone 'bitch' in a friendly way. o_o In a kinda loving way. xD I don't think anyone would let me though? =3

Haha...

Does everyone hate me?
Does everyone dislike me so much?
Is life really worth living?
So much doubts...
Can I survive? Do I WANT to survive?

The dark.
Scary; an endless abyss. Yet so... so... welcoming. It promises bliss and a nothingness to hide in.

Sometimes, I try not to curse. I don't want to curse. But I will. I know I will. Sad. Angry. All those negative emotions.

I think I'm trying to construct an impermeable wall in which I will hide behind... A wall where nobody will see me...

I feel as though I'm taken for granted.
Why do people take me for granted?

Bitter tears.
I've been crying for the past hour.
I just need someone to talk to... to Talk to...

xXxXxXxX

My various, dark thoughts.
If you read this, don't spew crap at me. I'm not "emo." I just have these bouts of depression. And what?